It's Friday. Sex?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
