I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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