I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
