Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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