remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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