I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
