he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
