Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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