come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
