I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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