Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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