69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
