that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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