I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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