I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
