How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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