Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
