Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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