"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
