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• (330): View more from Ohio

  When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex

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• (917): View more from New York City

  He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?

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• (310): View more from California

  That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?

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