So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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