i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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