I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
