he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
