i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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