i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
