Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
