obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
