my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
