evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
