y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
