is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
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