I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
