Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
