so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Boobs speak an international language.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
