Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
