We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
