I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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