Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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