We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Of course I have a pirate flag
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
