AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
