he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
