i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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