so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
