somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
