i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
