Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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