i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
