I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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