Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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